I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
