I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
