Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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