I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
