Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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