I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
