i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
