That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
