yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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