Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
