I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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