why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
