operation have a gay friend backfired
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
