just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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