we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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