I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
