It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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