she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
and she was petting her beer can
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
