I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm too high and old for this...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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