not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
