Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
