he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize