Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize