well I can't set my house on fire every night
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
