Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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