Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
