I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
