you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
