I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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