He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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