I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
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Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
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SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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