Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
