I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
