If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
