is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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