she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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