Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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