I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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