ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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