So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
