I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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