You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Someone signed my nipple.
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