Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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