Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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