sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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