So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Your dad touched me again.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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