When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
