Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
