somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
