He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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