you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
