You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
