the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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