I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize