at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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