Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
