ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
