I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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