Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The best revenge is premature balding
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
PANTIES FOUND
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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